Love is one of the most powerful emotions that humans can experience. When we are in love, we feel like nothing can stop us. We feel happy, excited, and optimistic about the future. Unfortunately, sometimes love fades away. We may start to doubt ourselves and our ability to find love again. In this blog post, we will discuss how to believe in love again, live life, and thrive! Whew - that's a lot to cover in a thousand words or less. Let's go!
Understanding the different types of love
Have you ever heard the saying "there are many different kinds of love"? It's true - there are actually several types of love that we experience in our lives.
First, there is eros, or romantic love. This is the kind of love we feel for a partner or crush.
Then there's phileo, or brotherly love, which is the affection and loyalty we feel for friends and family members.
Next, there's agape, or selfless love - this is the kind of love that motivates us to help strangers or make sacrifices for others without expecting anything in return.
Finally, there's ludus, or playful love - the feeling we have when we're just having fun flirting with someone. It's important to understand and recognize each type of love in our relationships because they all play a unique and valuable role in our lives.
Since I'm not a big fan of jargon, let's jump into the types of love in a slightly different way!
I think of forever love as a concept more than a feeling. Calling love "forever" conjures ideas of God and sacred, and in a way, believing in love is an act of faith. To love people, even when they suck, is a hard thing to do. It's easy to love when someone loves you back, but what about when they don't?
What about when they hurt you? When they lie or cheat or ignore you? It's hard to keep going then, but I think that's what forever loving is. It's the concept that love exists, throughout the world, even when most people suck. Forever loving is what religion is built around.
Perhaps more than any other concept, "true" or "real" love has entire books built around it. Love is different for everyone, and people spend their whole lives searching for it. The idea of true love has been around since the beginning of time - just think about all of the fairy tales and myths that feature characters searching for their one true love!
There are endless songs, movies, and TV shows that feature characters looking for their soul mate. If you believe in love, at some point, you'll have to grapple with the hope of the "trueness" of love.
Ah, self love. The bane of existence for every single person. But even if you're in a relationship, having a good measure of self appreciation is important because it helps you give yourself grace when things go wrong. To feel love for the self is challenging, but not impossible.
Relationships are fraught with romantic love. In today's culture, we see them as the source of all happiness. Believing in love and getting married is the ultimate purpose for some people. They'll barrel past good prospects to find the "perfect" partner in life.
But building a future with someone is about more than physical attraction and sensual relationships. It's about sharing pain and pleasure, walking together in light and dark, and watching as the one you love grows and ages.
Loving your friends is different than romantic love, but just as important. Friendship bonds are built on trust and shared experiences. They help us through the tough times and make the good times even better.
And while friends may come and go throughout our lives, there are some that we keep for a lifetime. These are the ones that we never forget, even if they pass from this world too soon. Our hearts are broken when our friends hurt; we rejoice when they grow into the best version of themselves.
Finally, we come to familial love. This is the kind of love that we have for our parents, siblings, and extended family members. It's different than friendship love because it's often unspoken and taken for granted.
We know that our parents will always be there for us, even when we screw up. We know that even if our blood family is trash, our chosen family relationships will be there forever.
What do you believe about love?
Learning to believe in love again is very much about understanding your perception of love. Why did you stop believing in love? When did you lose hope? Understanding your own mismatched expectations is going to help you build back a better sense of love to carryoung around with you in this world.
Getting over hurt
There are different types of love, and each one is important in its own way. You might have lost faith in romantic love, but that doesn't mean you can't find friendship love or familial love. Don't forget to also show yourself some self love!
Building up your love for a person via a friendship relationship is a great way to heal your belief in love. Many folks have found that in moments of grief, they realize that giving and serving others is the source of life, happiness, and healing. Believing in love, then, is as much about actions as it is about words.
Seeing past physical attraction or rejection
It can be hard to be vulnerable with a person in a relationship, and then have them reject you. When you've experienced this type of hurt, it can be difficult to see past physical attraction or the idea that love is only skin deep.
But to believe in love, we need to love a person as a whole, entire being, no matter where in life they are. In the present, they might be a giant bag of dog doo doo. But as a baby, I'm sure they were less terrible. So walk in your pain and in your joy and realize that to believe in love, you have to live life vulnerably and accept that sometimes you might get hurt. It's part of the price we pay to love so deeply.
How do you want to feel?
Do you want to feel happy? Sad? Disappointed? Loved? Valued? Understanding your emotional needs will help you understand what type of love you need to seek out. If your heart has been broken one too many times, work on friendships in the moment, and wait on a romantic partner.
You deserve to feel loved and valued, so don't ever forget your worth. Seek out the type of love that you need right now, and believe that you will find it. Because when it comes to love, anything is possible.
Have faith! Love is out there waiting for you, even if you don't think it will ever happen for you. Take a rest and observe the crazy amount of love that's out there in the world right now, just waiting for you to move past your fear and anxiety and take it by the horns.